I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
