god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
