Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize