I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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