you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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