he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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