In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
