I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
