Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
