I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
