She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
