Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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