I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize