how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
