does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
