Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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