ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
