Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
