So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
