I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
