woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
how drunk are you?
Several
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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