I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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