If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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