Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
