I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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