for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize