What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All the doctor said was why
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
