We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
