"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
