I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
