You smell like stripper and shame
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
