like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
