On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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