Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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