I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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