called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
