I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
