is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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