You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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