Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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