Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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