i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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