So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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