There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
