I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We have started to decorate penises.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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