I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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