yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
