..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
