I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
