I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
