Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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