I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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