just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
