Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
