I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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