I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
