I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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