i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My life is pants optional.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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